today was majorly horrible.
two bad days in a row should NOT be allowed.
i'm seriously considering shutting this blog down, and starting one that only i'll know about. there's no point in blogging since no one ever reads this, and i can just hear you guys thinking UGH THIS IS SO BORING. i can't even blog properly. there's something wrong with me. why can't i ever do anything well?
from tomorrow i'm going to try to be more cheerful. moping isn't helping, i seriously need to do something about it.
why do i even bother? blame myself for being stupid and oversensitive, for being too conceited and believing that someone actually cared. i hate myself. i hate my life. i hate being stuck here, and not being able to change anything. anyway what difference would it make. everything concerning me always goes wrong. haven't you noticed? i thought i might actually be happy, things might be fine for once. turned out it just took a longer time to spring the surprise on me. it's just so hard to pretend that everything's fine when it's not. i really need to learn that soon; figure how to not care and simply walk away. because if i don't sooner or later it's going to get way worse when everything simply collapses right on top of me.
it's never getting better is it.
May 6, 2009