.. i didn't get in SYF. D:
congrats daniella! she got accepted :D she's the ONLY sec one lorh o.O got some others got reserves too (: pro huh? nicolette, wanyii, shibei, clara and me didn't get in. sobsob... plus have some others i forgot liao.
SL results out too! boon, yixuan, sudesna, bella, weiying ALL got in :D CONGRATS GUYS! and yi en turned it down coz of her badminton training...
anyway. today wujie came. he looks like more of a coffeeshop ahbeng than a conductor leh. weird lorh. but he's a good conductor i guess. we sounded GREAT today :D
when i heard the SYF results i was just kinda.. numb, like it hadn't really sank in. then they dismissed us, and some se ones stayed back and chatted, i guess. some ppl were... crying. and their friends stayed back to cheer them up lorh. then the sec 2s were like o.O how come all of you are so NUMB?! truth to be told i felt like crying at that point but i don't like to cry in public i guess. oh well i didn't cry in the end lah.
though i stupidly thought that i had some small chance, maybe just some luck. see? optimism isn't good most of the time. but i wonder, if i hadn't slacked, if i had worked more on un-airy-ing my voice, if i had talked less and paid more attention during prac, would i have gotten a better chance? there's no one to blame other than myself; no chance to try again. i'm disgusted at my laziness and how i just can't be bothered a lot of times, to get of the computer and just practice or study for a while. if this goes on i won't even get a 3.2 GPA, much less medical school.
from now on i'll do 5min of voice prac everyday after piano practice or in the shower, and i'll try to blog and msn less. it's tough but.. or else i'll never achieve anything, and i don't want to look back on yesterday with so many regrets, that i've missed so many chances. i find it really hard to continue posting like everything normal and that i'm feeling calm and relatively happy, but i shall try to go on because i don't think i can describe how i feel. -sigh- i don't have nicolette's way with words but go read her post it's kinda like what i feel... a little bit. though not so depressed... no offence or anything.
ok, i'm off to practice piano. -.- bye!
but we all have to get up sooner or later; nothing will help change what's already happened.
March 24, 2009