(WARNING: this is an extremely crappy post written when i'm in an extremely crappy mood)
i am just sick and tired of it all. every day, putting on a smile, pretending that everything's fine and hiding all my emotions underneath my frozen expression. why isn't it EVER fair?
whether it's grades, opportunities, or even friends, i always lose out. everytime you and i want the same things, guess who gets it? after a while i turn off, trying not to expect anything so that i won't get disappointed for the thousandth time. so what if i can't be like you, juggling so many things, doing everything perfectly, and still have more time than me. even the measly things that i can do better than her, it's only because she doesn't try. not to mention that you're forever waving that particular fact right under my nose. can't you understand that it's not as easy as you make it sound?
er btw i'm not emoing horh, i'm just... irritated by it all.
and to you: i really don't mean to deliberately hurt you by posting this, i just want to vent my frustration...
January 21, 2009
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